Hate it when the squishmallow try to tell me the squishie’s name like no way in hell is this shrimp named Monica what the fuck are you talking about. But when beanie babies does it its ok because yeah that monkey’s name is bongo. Thats right.

Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

nobodys paying attention to me so im going to microwave forks and knives

your fav is Unproblematic: Jesus

• committed no sin
• ate with tax collectors and sinners
• triumphed over death itself
• probably could make a mean table

[image id: screenshot of tags reading "#uhhhh Jesus would make a friendly table in [sic] pretty sure". End id]

this is going to be difficult -> i am capable of doing difficult things -> i have done everything prior to this moment -> this difficulty will soon be proof of capability

less "this is gonna suck", more "finally a test worthy of my skills"

the doctor says if this gets 5 million notes i can get a new body

listening to wtnv in 2024 makes me understand immediately why tumblr over a decade ago thought this shit was the coolest thing ever. it casually but flawlessly parodies the us surveillance state, ultra-militarized police forces, inane human resource bureaucracies and the blasé of the suburban middle class all within the span of three episodes with a very tongue in cheek slice of life format that doesn’t sound possible on paper but is executed absolutely absurdly well

A reminder!

Worth noting, this is actually more Nazi than the swastika itself, which has significance to Buddhists, Hindus, Slavs, Balts, and others that massively predate its appropriation by facists.

This thing, by contrast, has only one meaning.

I WAS LOOKING UP PUNK PATCHES AND SAW ONE WITH THAT FUCKING THING ON IT WTF

NOOOO

a reminder that ron desantis included this symbol in a campaign video. cannot stress this enough, he's not just a homophobe. he is openly associating himself with nazi iconography. he has claimed that if he were president, he would be 'slitting throats on day one'. he is trying to make accusations of racism, homophobia, sexism and transphobia illegal. he has claimed florida is where 'woke goes to die'. if he isn't a fascist, the term fascist has lost all meaning.

nice outfit LOSER lol *puts phone up to ear* 65,000,000 BCE called .They said aomething really bad happened to the dinosaurs

autism and strong emotion just be like… SHAKE! SHAKE SO HARD! BUT FEEL TRAPPED BY THE PRISON OF YOUR BONES *screams*